sounds from The Simpsons

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Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone DVD



The Simpsons

For best results, save sounds to disk before playing them.

Take The Simpsons Personality Test and find out which character from The Simpsons you are most like!

The Simpsons Theme

- Opening Credits (343k, mp3)

"Lionel Hutz, attorney at law. What's that? A broken neck? Great!"

- Lionel Hutz (31k, wav) new!

"Hutz is the name, Mr Simpson - Lionel Hutz, attorney at law. Here's my card - it turns into a sponge when you put it in water"

- Lionel Hutz (63k, wav) new!

"I like it!"

- Barney Gumble (9k, wav) new!

"As punishment for your desertion, it's company policy to give you the Plague"

- Montgomery Burns (60k, wav) new!

"Help! I'm being attacked by...uh, things!"

- Mayor Quimby (35k, wav) new!

"I heartily endorse this event or product"

- Krusty the Clown (32k, wav) new!

"Beep beep! Out of my way, I'm a motorist!"

- Montgomery Burns (39k, wav) new!

"Mmm... something"

- Homer (20k, wav)

"Wait a minute... ice cream truck! Me, me, me! I was here first!"

- Homer (44k, wav)

"You tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

- Homer (70k, wav)

"What, what, what?! This better be about pizza"

- Chief Wiggum (30k, wav)

"Mmm... something"

- Homer (27k, wav)

"Shut up boy"

- Homer (16k, wav)

"Mmm... slanty"

- Homer (31k, wav)

"Mmm... incapacitating"

- Homer (35k, wav)

"What do you think Smithers?
I think that women and seamen don't mix
We know what you think. Young lady, you're hired!

- Mr Burns & Smithers (74k, wav)

"Mmm... invisible cola"

- Homer (33k, wav)

"Mmm... organised crime"

- Homer (41k, wav)

Itchy and Scratchy theme

- (70k, wav)

"Mmm... barbeque"

- Homer (41k, wav)

"The fingers you have used are too fat. Please mash the keypad with your palm now."

- Telephone to Homer (65k, wav)

"Welcome to the Internet, my friend. How can I help you?"

- Homer (29k, wav)

"That dog has more education than I do. He's some kind of super dog!"

- Homer (41k, wav)

"My worm went in my mouth and then I ate it. Can I have a new one?"

- Ralph Wiggum (40k, wav)

"If anything goes wrong, dial 911. Unless it's an emergency"

- Chief Wiggum (54k, wav)


- Homer (11k, wav)

"Isn't that cute? A baby driving a car. And look, there's a dog driving a bus"

- Chief Wiggum (78k, wav)

"You call this a super computer?"

- Mr Burns (24k, wav)

"Hi everybody!"
"Hi Dr Nick!"

- Dr Nick Riviera (38k, wav)

"The mail! The mail is here! Ooh!"

- Homer (45k, wav)

"Please come again"

- Apu (10k, wav)

"Captain, Klingons off the starboard bow"
"Again with the Klingons. Mr Scott, give me full power"
"It's no good Captain, I cannot reach the control panel"

- George Takei, William Shatner and "Scotty" (99k, wav)

"Alright! Time for a crime spree"

- Snake (21k, wav)

"Play friendly children"

- Principal Skinner (11k, wav)

"Smithers, there's a rocket in my pocket."
"You don't have to tell me, sir"

- Mr Burns & Smithers (25k, wav)

"Burn him!"

- Grandpa (3k, wav)

"Grease me up!"

- Groundskeeper Willie (51k, wav)

"The doctor I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger outa there"

- Ralph Wiggum (27k, wav)

"...People see you as something of an ogre. Then club them and eat their bones."

- Smithers & Mr Burns (39k, wav)

"Er, no. You got the wrong number, this is 912"

- Chief Wiggum (9k, wav)

"Why you little..!"

- Homer (9k, wav)

Intel TV commercial featuring Homer and the Super Donut... funny!

- (236k, mp3) fixed!

"Mmm... hog fat."

- Homer (25k, wav)

"Mmm... forbidden donut"

- Homer (142k, wav)

"Mmm... fuzzy"

- Homer (20k, wav)

"Alright brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer"

- Homer (81k, wav)

"Stupid TV. Be more funny!"

- Homer (18k, wav)

"In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"

- Homer (37k, wav)

"All my life I've been an obese man trapped inside a fat man's body."

- Homer (41k, wav)

"Woo-hoo! Watch that blubber fly!"

- Homer (18k, wav)


- Homer (7k, wav)

"Wow, I'll never drink another beer... I'll have ten"

- Homer (49k, wav)

"Hello, my name is Mr Burns.... what's your middle name? ... I don't know"

- Homer (114k, wav)

"If you don't like your job you don't strike, you just go in every day and do it really half-assed..."

- Homer (92k, wav)

"Tell me how may stocks did yesterday... Uh, they all won."

- Homer & Mr Burns (60k, wav)

"That's good"

- Homer (8k, wav)

"That's bad"

- Homer (14k, wav)

"To start press any key. Where's the any key?"

- Homer (39k, wav) fixed!

"Computers can do that?"

- Homer (20k, wav)

"You maniac. You blew it up..."

- Homer (84k, mp3)

"Mmmm, chocolate"

- Homer Simpson (31k, wav)

"Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

- Homer Simpson (39k, wav)

"I am Evil Homer. I am Evil Homer..."

- Homer Simpson (85k, wav)

"Hello operator, give me the number for 911!"

- Homer Simpson (38k, wav)

"Mmm... beer"

- Homer Simpson (18k, wav)

"A woman is more like a beer..."

- Homer Simpson (171k, wav)


- Homer Simpson (5k, wav)

"Remember, a Jedi's strength flows from...mmm, donuts!"

- Homer Simpson/Yoda (58k, wav)


- Montgomery Burns (18k, wav)

"Hello children, I bring you love... It's a monster, kill it!..."

- Burns & Willy the Groundskeeper (36k, wav)

"Hello. Smithers. You're. Quite. Good. At. Turning. Me. On"

- Burns (56k, wav)

"...I'm doing all the pulling, you blouse-wearing poodle walker!"

- Groundskeeper Willie & Skinner (35k, wav)

"Water it down some more. I can't man, I've watered her down as far as she'll go..."

- Groundskeeper Willie & Skinner (35k, wav)

"There's neary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman"

- Groundskeeper Willie (27k, wav)

"I don't like your tone. If you are looking for trouble, you found it..."

- Skinner & Stephen Hawking (38k, wav)

"Ha ha!"

- Nelson (22k, wav)

"Uh oh, my heart just stopped...ah, there it goes"

- Barney (64k, wav)


- Barney (5k, wav)

"Hey Spock, what do you want on your hotdog? Suprise me"

- Leonard Nimoy (9k, wav)

"Hokely dokely"

- Ned Flanders (15k, wav)

"Absolively posilutely!"

- Ned Flanders (10k, wav)

"Howdy doodely do!"

- Ned Flanders (24k, wav)


- Ned Flanders (24k, wav)


- Krusty The Clown (13k, wav)

"Aye carumba!!"

- Bart Simpson (17k, wav) fixed!

"Eat my shorts!"

- Bart Simpson (10k, wav)

"Oh no, we're all doomed!"

- Grandpa Simpson (26k, wav)

"... Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog..."

- Lionel Hutz & Marge (166k, wav)

"...I've argued in front of every judge in the state, often as a lawyer"

- Lionel Hutz (56k, wav)

"My eyes! The goggles do nothing!"

- McBain (33k, wav)

"I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such self help videos..."

- Troy McClure (18k, wav)

"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from..."

- Troy McClure (101k, wav)

Just type a question and click "Ask!"

All sounds contained on these pages retain the original copyright of their respective owners.